i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
