my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Non-Jews are for practice
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
