they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
