I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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