Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
