fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
