Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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