Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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