i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
