Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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