Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
