1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
