Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My feet surprised me
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
