you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
