is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
