In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
