Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
