Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
