Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
