do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
