I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
