Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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