As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
