Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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