you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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