Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
