i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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