if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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