So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
