Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
time to smoke my breakfast
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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