Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
