is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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