Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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