She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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