I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize