sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
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