I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
