this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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