a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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