I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Shame - the story of my life.
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