Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's rum buckets o'clock
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
