My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
