im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
