Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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