Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
