Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
