I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
