I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Randomize
