I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I have already put on my inside pants.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
