Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
