so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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