I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
