i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
