I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
dude i'm inner monologue high
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
