his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
