You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
