I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
When are your genitals available?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
