Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
