My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
