Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
