would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
